7 weeks into being in Korea and only 3 days into full-time teaching as an ETA, I am totally exhausted. I have no time to even process mentally what I have been experiencing, and even less time to journal or blog. In the past week I have experienced so many different emotions–extreme highs and extreme lows–due to my students, my homestay situation, moving to a new city in general, leaving orientation, etc. and I don’t know if I will have time to really reflect on it while it is still happening to me. I feel like a lot of life is happening to me right now and I love it and I hate it but most of all I cannot stop this tide washing over me. I am not passive, no, I am extremely active, nay, overactive, 24/7 for the past 2-3 weeks, if not all 7. But I know at the core of my being when I fall asleep each night that this is exactly where I am supposed to be, exactly where God has placed me, and so I am content. I also know that the high tide will not last forever, that things will calm down, that rhythm will take its rightful place again and time will cease to be an endless barrage of names, lesson plans, first impressions, manners and implicit social bargaining. I probably sound kind of negative right now, but it is only because I am really tired, I have not had enough time to unpack, and I am already dreading next week’s lesson planning. In reality, I am glad to be here, and I am really enjoying teaching. I just need to pray and sleep and take a little bit of time to breathe. That is partly why I am writing this now. To the me in a week or two from now, the calmer, more confident me: I envy you. And from that future me to myself right now: 화이팅!
For any of you still reading this, please pray for me to have energy to teach and love for my students and coworkers, and for me to be able to smile in the face of failure, stress, and this extremely fast-paced lifestyle. I think I am only just starting to understand the meaning of 빨리빨리 문화.*
*(the hurry-hurry culture that our Korean RAs told us about.)